Saturday, 2 May 2015


“You are not pretty for Congolese men”


What is the perfect size? What is beautiful? Are you beautiful for you or for others? Do you want to please or be content? 

Before I begin to vent and get all political and all other boring stuff, let me just clarify that I am currently in Congo, it’s been a month already and to my Kenyan loves I am sorry I do not miss Nairobi yet, I missed home way too much. So see you in September my loves! On top of that, my camera broke again as soon as I got here, so these photos I am posting are not recent.

To my surprise, not a week from being home, almost everyone I met had one comment for me “OMG you are so skinny, you need to put on weight”; Often times I just smile or giggle because in Kenya, Nairobi especially, I am not skinny, not even too skinny, I am model size and this size is prayed up on, people wish for it and here it’s rebuked, I am shocked. 4 days in my beautiful home country and someone I know brings me a bag of medicine to gain weight, yes a full bag, with about 4 different types of pills and syrups and mixtures of what and I don’t know what! Un-asked for, she just pulls me to the side and starts explaining how I should take it, and what side effects I may have, then she goes “I bought these for you, I will give you the first try for free and believe me in just 3 days you will gain weight and be happy, you will be beautiful because our men like women with a body, being this skinny, you will not find a Congolese man, a good woman is a woman with meat on her” I was so shocked and surprised, I just smiled and asked a bunch of questions and acted interested because I wanted to know more about this trend; apparently, so many people are taking those medicines, from married women to young girls, no wonder everyone is growing a big butt lately and those I left skinny are not anymore. Being the curious cat that I am, the next day, I asked a male friend about it and he told me straight up “Bullshit! Yes all women are fighting to gain weight, thinking we like it, truth is we don’t. TV is making you guys (women) think that a big butt, boobs or hips is what keeps a man, crap! I don’t like it”. I ask another friend and he says “ Never take those pills, you are fine just the way you are” Something my mom would say, myself included because honestly I am happy being this size, wearing tights catches less attention because I have no fatty (booty). But there are men who like it, another male friend of mine said “That’s how African women should be, a skinny woman is not beautiful”. To each their own! These comments about my size has gone on to my family, aunts on my dad’s side are now suggesting traditional doctors to help me gain weight, trips to the village are being planned, my grand-mother is being called…etc It is as crazy as it’s written and in my head I am screaming “Everybody Back off! I am fine”. The other day the same friend who approached me with pills and syrups, brings it up again so to shut her up, I reply; “The day I stop getting hit on, is the day I will take it, so I am not worried”. This all just goes on to say that; beauty has no specific size or height, in Kenya, I am usually told “You are so short, You are so tiny”; here I am cute, fun, sexy height, just perfect. Beauty has a different meaning to all of us, just because someone is beautiful to you does not mean she is or he is beautiful to me, likes and reasons differ. Personally, I like a black man, not light skinned, Black, with a “bit” of thick’ems that’s a man to me. Girls, I like them bigger than me, athletic body with slight curves and brown skin. To each his/her own! Don’t impose your likes on someone and do not allow them to do the same. At the end of the day you have to live with you. So please YOU! Let’s live free and happy!

FACEBOOK: R-shan Phonci Shasha
TWITTER: @Rshanphonsi
INSTAGRAM: @rshanphonsi
FACEBOOK PAGE: Beauty4brokegirls - B4BG



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